MEN ARE FROM MARS... WOMEN FROM VENUS...

Here's a prime example of "Men Are from Mars, Women
Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from
the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will
experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with
the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As
homework tonight, one of you will write the first
paragraph of a short story.
You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
another copy to me. The partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story
and send it back, also sending another copy to
me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
and so on back-and-forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in
order to keep the story coherent.
There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the
e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written
in the e-mail. The story is over when
both agree a conclusion has been reached."


The following was actually turned in by two of his
English students: Rebecca and Gary.


-------------------------------------------

THE STORY:


(first paragraph by Rebecca)


At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite
for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much
of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at
all costs, keep her
mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and
if she thought about him too much her asthma started
acting up again. So chamomile was
out of the question.


(second paragraph by Gary)


Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the
attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
important things to think about than the neuroses of
an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a
year ago. " A.S. Harris to
Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere
and blasted a hole through his
ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
not before he felt one last pang of regret for
psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had
feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel," Laurie read in her
newspaper one morning.
The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She
stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the
days had passed unhurriedly
and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television
to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.


(Gary)


Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds
to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion
missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through
the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With
no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean
floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,
stupid Laurie.


(Rebecca)


This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.


(Gary)


Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air
headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele
novels!"


(Rebecca)


Asshole.


(Gary)


Bitch


(Rebecca)


F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!


(Gary)



Go drink some tea - whore.



(TEACHER)